Pirate Post #2: Chili

Pirate Post by Art Carden 

Jacob and I are nearing the end of our Guys' Weekend as Shannon's flight from Houston arrives a little before 6:00 this evening.  He's napping now, and we're meeting his friend Avalyn at the Children's Museum at 3:30 (if he's awake by then).  We had some friends over for lunch after church today, and we had chili with tortilla chips and shredded extra-sharp cheddar.  There's no real "recipe" for chili, but this is basically what I've been doing with it for about the last nine years.

Meats: One pound of ground turkey, 1 lb of smoked sausage (Bryan's Cajun-Style this time).

Beans: One can of store-brand chili beans, one can each of organic black beans, pinto beans, great northern beans, and kidney beans.  The store brand organic beans were on sale at Kroger for $0.89/can yesterday.

Peppers: one red bell pepper, one orange bell pepper, one green bell pepper.

Onions: I forgot to get onions.

Tomatoes: one can of Hunt's diced tomatoes (because that's what was in the cabinet when you decided to add more tomatoes), two cans of Kroger diced tomatoes with green chiles (store brand Ro-Tel, in other words).

Other: one can of Kroger golden corn.

Seasonings: lots of black pepper, some garlic, a dash of cayenne pepper, one packet each of store brand chili seasoning and store brand taco seasoning (thanks to Jeremy Jackson for the taco seasoning suggestion sometime in 2002, I think).

Beer: Busch, about 12 fl. oz.

Prep (Saturday Evening): combine beans, tomatoes, corn, and seasoning in a crock pot.  Cook sausage in a medium-sized skillet.  Add sausage to beans/tomatoes/corn/seasoning.   Brown turkey in sausage drippings, sprinkle with black pepper, garlic, and cayenne pepper.  Add to beans/tomatoes/corn/seasoning/sausage.  Put entire mixture in fridge overnight.  As you're drifting off to sleep, realize that you forgot to add bell peppers and onions.  Make a mental note to do it first thing in the morning.

Prep (Sunday Morning): Plug in crock pot full of chili, add beer, set for four hours' cook time, and stir well.  Alternate between chopping bell peppers with your Pampered Chef Food Chopper and feeding Strawberry Crunch cereal to Jacob.  Plug your sister's Pampered Chef business.  Look for onions in the fridge and pantry; finding none, do a quick cost benefit analysis and decide that while the onions are good, they don't add enough to justify another trip to the store.  Clean up, dress Jacob, swing by the gas station, and arrive at church just in time for the service that you thought started at 9:30 but that actually started at 9:00. 

Serving: Head home with friends after church, wipe up whatever bubbled out of the crock pot and onto the counter (or be thankful when one of your guests does it for you), and serve the chili with tortilla chips, shredded Kroger extra-sharp cheddar cheese, a selection of name-brand soft drinks, and enjoy.